Baghdad.  DG.

  Coalition B-52 bombers were scrambled and targeted a location in trendy North Baghdad, Saddam City area, sources say.  Unnamed high ranking officials close to the Joint Chief’s are reporting a contact passed on information considered 98% reliable, the Joint passed to General Meikle, who shortly thereafter, exhaled and ordered the strike.

        “I’m quite certain we can float his boat, even in the desert,” Meikle responding to critics added, “If we have any intelligence at all, this thing is over.”

             zt Special Bomb correspondent,

             Mariel da Foxy reports that Meikle

             added something extra to the

             Joint’s potency and included a

couple Bunker Busters along with the new

SaddamBomb. 

        The Saddambomb, a new weapon developed by scientists in New Mexico for the Air Force, is designed for close-in bunker penetration.  New GPS technology, alleged to enable dictator detection, guides the saddambomb towards a pre-determined signal aura emitted by dictators.  Scientists have identified these aura’s as individual as voice prints and are confident of the technology.

        The report of a high level meeting between Saddam, his sons, and Republican

Guard elite came in as bombers were refueling somewhere over northern Iraq. 

     US FORCES CATCH

          IRAQI LEADER TANKED

 

     SADDAM DRUNK WITH POWER —BUNKER BUSTER BUSTS BAGHDAD

Volume  1    Edition  2  

the zig times

  SADDAM was

       DRIVING REGIME

            …..TOO DRUNK TO SING!

Meanwhile, Coalition forces have sealed Iraq’s borders in efforts to catch fleeing Iraqi

leaders.  Sporadic gunfire was heard at

several checkpoints between Baghdad and the Syrian border, but no reports emerged of captured leaders.   One vehicle, driven erratically, and intel reported to contain a drunken Saddam, was destroyed by rocket, but no trace of  Saddam was found. 

        “So much intelligence

and nobody knows nuthin’.” 

says the local CIA. op.

                

   Related stories pages 3, 4

Meikle dispatched 2 B-52’s from the K9 Wing, 5th Air Force, to targets in Baghdad.  Less than 45 minutes later, 2 Saddambomb’s struck buildings near Saddam City, in north Baghdad, leveling two residential complexes and causing collateral damage over 3 blocks away.  The bombs left a crater at impact in excess of 50 feet deep and 150 feet across.  Local Iraqi’s were seen shifting thru the rubble for victims.

                                     It’s unclear

                                     whether Saddam

                                     was in the

                                     complex when

                                     bombed– the

                                     entire complex

                                     was turned to

                                     waste.

        “While his demise is unconfirmed, hopefully, Saddam has joined a new branch of the Armed Forces especially for his kind, the Smithereens.”  concluded General Meikle immediately following the mission.  “But seriousness aside, our military intelligence is lacking and the Joint’s, well, it distorts the battlefield, relying mostly on second hand smoke, so confirmation of Saddam’s fate will take time.”

        Sources have revealed that Meikle’s elite special op force, the A Team, is also in northern Iraq and could become available to assist in the hunt for regime leaders.

the zig times   March -April 2003

 IRAQI’S GET BOMBED!

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