the zig times third edition page 1

the zig times

Saddam, I thought I saw a Putty Cat, I did I did~!

Tikrit, Iraq. zig times special correspondent Mariel daFoxy (right) reports

confirmation of the A-Team’s capture

of “Ace of Spades—Numero Uno”

Saddam Hussein.

Sources in General Meikle’s

command indicated something

“big” was going on, as Sand

Marshal Fredd “Big” Katt along with

protégée and new A-Teamer, Ryu “the

Younger” Katt were seen being ushered into Meikle’s post late last night.

The Bush Administration would neither confirm nor deny the meeting or that the A-Team was in Iraq or the Army.

daFoxy’s informants told of a spirited meeting between Meikle and Big Katt – Big’s

lambasting of the Administration’s Iraqi policy

could be heard clearly. Insiders maintain Big’s

A-Team had firm intel on Saddam’s whereabouts and only included military officials as a “matter of common courtesy”, noting the team’s success was based on two common resources the military lacked, common sense and common courtesy.

“Military Intelligence ain’t so smart,”

quipped Big, “the A-Team always gets da’ bums!”

According to unnamed sources, while on a routine recon patrol of back alleys and dumpsters, A-Teamer’s Heavy D & Ryu the Younger engaged a rebel patrol, killing five, maiming one and capturing two. Reports conflict at this point, confirming only a ‘tip’ on Saddam’s possible location was ‘volunteered’.

“We asked politely, as Mom always

insisted when dealing with the disadvantaged” explained D. “Our first interviewee was unfamiliar with rules of etiquette, but the other was most congenial.

It’s weird that way.” added D,

with a wink.

The A-Team was seen taking up

positions near the Iraqi city of

Tikrit, a known Saddam

stronghold (maps right) .

The Raiders, 4th

Infantry was assigned by

Meikle to act as backup

for the A-Team.

“Somebody needs

to bring da’ beer,” piped D.

Early Sunday morning,

hours before daylight, the

A-Team stormed the home

were Saddam was reportedly hiding. (left)

“Heavy D took down

da’ double door like

da’ big bad Wolf!”

beamed Big. “He

scattered da’ rats

right into da’ trap.”

Saddam was not immediately located,

requiring a nose to the grindstone

approach. Heavy D reportedly

did the honors, the AP photo (right)

snapped outside the compound

provides evidence of D warming

up the equipment used for the

search. And it was a successful

warm up, as Heavy D snorted thru the

aromas, proclaiming “dictator’s always emit a stench, and this guy REALLY stunk! Worse than a skunk, for sure!”

A thorough search through the compound revealed a false door in

the ground, leading

to a man sized

“hidey– hole”.

(left)

(entry)

“Ironic,.. ironic, .. that’s the word that comes to mind. A rat caught in a

rathole. It just seems right.” mused Big Katt. “And no cheese!” he chuckled.

Unnamed high ranking administration officials seem to be suggesting to informants the source for the A Team’s tip on Saddam was the shadowy mystery agent known only as the Mole.

Officially, Bush would neither confirm nor deny he knew anything at all, ‘bout this Mole ‘fella’, or anything else for that matter. And that history will prove it so.

Marshal Katt, when asked what he knew about this shadowy Mole figure responded, with a sly chuckle “WHY don’t you good folks know that Katt’s

kill Mole’s?

The dirty, bedraggled former

tyrant, admitted

his identity readily,

offering to negotiate with

the A-Team.

“Negotiate? They’re

gonna try ‘em before they

hang ‘em! Drunk with power

that dude! snarled Big, with a wink.

The A Team was heard laughing long