|
the zig times |
|
Informants provided LR a grainy, long range photo reportedly of the cow courier disguised among the herd. Additional documents made available seemly indicate a delicate information source provided intel to CIA operatives from deep inside Iraq, raising again the potential existence of “The Mole”. The documents outline bin Bairdhula’s plot to smuggle mad cow formula into the US for use as a biological weapon of mass destruction. The reports allege bin Bardhula and Al Boba met with an Iraqi National, identified as ali-Kowbul near Chicago, IL. The terrorists recruited ali-Kowbul to transport the formula from Iraq to the US, putting their scheme in action. ali-Kowbul was traced as far as Vancouver, British Columbia, where reportedly he disappeared into the crowd of arrivals. Informants suggest he was then spirited into the US across the un-patrolled US-Canadian border carrying his deadly formula and an ample supply of his favorite Thailand grass. Unconfirmed reports from unnamed high ranking ICPP officials detail medical evidence that ali-Kowbul suffers from a rare chronic disorder requiring frequent relief provided by organic chemicals found exclusively in Thailand grass. Medical professionals are unclear if this material is ingested, inhaled or smoked, but repeat this condition is chronic, and ali-Kowbul never leaves home without it. Capital Hill Democrats are voicing concerns of ICPP running “down the pant leg of American Freedoms” and are calling for Bush’s appointment of a “Special Matron” overseeing the ICPP mess. Those Demo’s with an opinion suggested Hillary Clinton’s name as one with “Matron” qualities and a knowledge of the arena. Clinton could not be reached for comment. Elsewhere, Cattle Ranchers were beefing about reported links to terrorists killing their business. “Links, hell, everybody ‘noz links is pork, not beef,” lamented Farmer Dell, “and who was that Masked Man? All he left is this Silver Bullet..” the dogg group & bs productions |
|
Ryu the Younger adds Youth to Team |
|
bin Bardhula |
|
the dogg group & bs productions all rights reserved |
|
DG. Mr. Big, Coalition Sand Marshall, known for his swarthy movements on and off the dance floor, announced the induction of the A-Team’s newest member, Ryu “the Younger” Katt. A hastily called press conference as Big was preparing to return announced “the younger” would accompany Big to the Iraqi theatre. “The A-Team needed another ‘bit player’ and we’re confident Ryu will play quite a bit.” chuckled Big. “His youte’ful exuberance warms my nine lives,” continued Big, purring softly. “Ryu is da’ protegé, I da’ mentor.” “An’ I’ll teach em’ right! Can’t have no pussyfootin’ aroun’.” quipped Heavy D. “Those frenchie’s, well, ‘vivez la guerre, vivez la guerre, ca’est le vie de la mercenaire, le A-Team meanś de le gran’ victoire!” The crowd roared at D’s french. zig time correspondent SG reports the Younger’s bio information released by The A-Team provides an insight into the realm of mercenaries, soldiers of fortune and theFrench Foreign Legion. Ryu Katt, enjoyed a normal kittyhood of catnip and old shoes, growing up in idyllic, semi-rural, northwest Washington state. Educated at the prestigious Ecolé de Savignac and Ecolé de Guerre Economique in Paris, the Younger bore witness to extreme acts of cowardly terrorist violence and vowed to dedicate his nine lives to retribution. “ze ‘terroriste are ze worse type of ze cowarde. zhey kill indiscriminately, women, children, zhey care not! ze worse, ze worse, I say! Off w’th ze ’eads, show zhem zhe ‘gallows! proclaimed Ryu the Younger. “Je suis un naturel en le sandé.” Ryu snapped when questioned on joining the Legion. “Idiotč!!” The Legion took Katt to Africa where his education in terrorist warfare was refined. Sources confirm action in Liberia & Sudan brought the Younger under the watchful eye of Big & The A-Team. His recent katnapping has been tentatively linked to a faction of bin Bardhula that suffered extreme casualties fighting against Katt’s Legioné in Liberia. This faction convinced bin Bardhula to strike, miscalculating US’s resolve and the ferocity of the A Team. “Today, my friends, the A-Team is refreshed and evil everywhere take notice - the A-Team is here, our mission is clear and we’ll celebrate with beer!” closed Big. He was escorted from the room to a thunderous, long lasting standing ovation. |
|
DM |
|
Space |
|
Ghost |
|
mr. Big at podium |
|
heavy D |
|
ali-Kowbul |
|
dogghouse, wa. zig times Special Investigator Danger Mouse (DM) has uncovered evidence the Bush Administration knew of threats involving at least one cow and bin Bairdhula members with ties to both NW Washington and Canadian British Columbia. Unnamed sources provided DM insight to a plot hatched in the rural hinterlands of middle America, disguised among unsuspecting hog farms near Hog Capital of the World, IL. According to their reports, bin Bairdhula leaders bin Bardhula and Al Boba planned and delivered a cow carrying the mad cow formula thru British Columbia into western Washington state. The scheme involved sending infected cows to mid-western farms for fattening and on to American grocery stores for consumption. The plot disintegrated when the ’ground zero’ cow fell ill and was destroyed prematurely, triggering routine autopsy reports designed to identify disease. The Bush Administration expressed outrage and called for tighter regulations. “We are appalled by this attempt to unleash biological weapons of mass destruction on an unsuspecting, innocent American public.” Bush continued adding, “We will meet these acts of extreme cowardice with equal acts of our own and I assure you here today, we WILL NOT FAIL!” Questions are surfacing regarding the Administration’s apparent security failure surrounding the “Incident-Cow Pie Plot, or ICPP”. Informants running ICPP suggest the Bush Administration’s top Homeland Security adviser, Tom Ridge, ignored reports of mounting evidence supporting a possible terrorist ‘cow-armed’ attack, somewhere. “I thought they said cowARD attack, ...really, I did!” pleaded an embarrassed Ridge. The Bush Administration reiterated its position there was no intelligence available and will schedule a press conference if they find any suggesting knowledge ever existed prior to this plot’s delivery. zig time senior range correspondent, Texas Ranger (RET.) , Lone Ranger, LR (left), uncovered CIA documents, dated pre– ICPP, suggesting the Administration had reports of the plot prior to its execution. |
|
Suspected cow courier |
|
Al Boba |
|
LR |
|
Hillary on Hill |
|
Ryu in Africa |
|
Ryu |
|
Ridge |
|
the zig times Volume 1 Edition 3 |
